I Miss You, So Unbelievably Much

Grandma,

I have to start out by saying, I really really really miss you. I wish you were here, because our family needs you very much right now. I don't think there is anyone who could sort out this mess like you could. And even though some things are the same, some things are very different.

There are things that even after 10 years, I remember like they happened last week. Those Saturday mornings I spent cleaning and putting rollers in your hair. (And I don't feel guilty for telling the internets, 'cause that was something you would tell your friends anyway.) "Oh? My hair looks nice? Thank you, my Granddaughter did it for me." You'd say it with such pride. And I FELT proud. Of course I would curl your hair. Of course I would help you clean the house. And for payment, I would get stories. I would get art lessons. I would get the whole afternoon to try on your fabulous jewelry.

I can't tell you how much I cherish the gift of your Crafty-ness. When I'm working on a gift for someone, I imagine you taking the work, and scanning every inch of it with your eyes and your hands, making sure it's perfect. If I think it would pass your inspection, then away it goes. If not, then over it starts.

There is a new great-grandbaby with cheeks to kiss. My nephew, the child of Your Number One Grandson is as amazing as anyone could have imagined him to be. And there is another one on the way, as Gibby is due in early August. But then, you already knew that. There's not one bit of baby news that would get by you!

The house is still there, but it doesn't mean what it used to. When I'm at my Mom and Dad's, I try not to look at it, but it's still there. It makes me miss your apple crisp. It makes me miss your home-made bread. It makes me miss the time when I thought everybody in our family liked each other. Now, some of them just want to hurt the others. I wish you could put a stop to that.

Well anyway, I know how much you love getting letters. I just wish you were still here to get this one in person. And I know I said that I'd have a really hard time if I ever saw you again. You know, cause it would be a little scary for me. But I think I changed my mind.