Call Me Stigmatized

Over the last two years, I've been subjected to two bridal showers, two bachelorette parties, two weddings, and two baby showers. And at each one of them I had a moment where Four-Year-Old-Me is sitting in a chair kicking her feet and watching someone I'm related to open presents, and thinking "Aww, why don't I get PRESENTS!? I want presents!"

What a scam. Find yourself a man, throw yourself a party and you get cool free shit that YOU PICK OUT FOR YOURSELF. C'mon, who's idea was the Gift Registry anyway? "Here are the things I want, if you bring them to this place, at this time, I'll be waiting. Oh, and I might feed you some cold cuts and that weird ambrosia salad Aunt Mable makes. You know, the one with fruit AND cottage cheese. No, really, it's delicious. I'm not sure why it's that color."

And then you get knocked up, and you get to throw yourself another party where you get super cute stuff for a human that no body's even met yet. "I mean, I'm not sayin' your baby is gonna be an asshole, but I got you the kid-cage complete with leash--the sales' person called it a 'pack-n-play'--cause you just never know. Am I right? Huh? Wink, wink."

Well, I had myself a little brainstorm; Cut out the middleman (fiance, baby), and you can get cool free shit you pick out for YOURSELF, that you can actually use YOURSELF. I think I might just throw myself a Spinster Party. What better excuse for a party could there be? "I can barely keep a house plant alive, much less find a husband and hope to bring a child into this world, I NEED those dryer balls because the idea of soft, fluffy towels is the only thing I've got to look forward to."

Google the term and you get a mixed bag. From Wikipedia--"Until the advent of feminism, spinsterhood was generally portrayed as a condition to be pitied or mocked" Huh. You know all the mean stuff people say about couples, what they would say about a single couldn't be much worse. Mock me all you want, as long as I get the booty.

Obviously, I'm not the first to have thought of the idea, as there is no such thing as an "original idea," but I think I might just start a movement. I'm planning on registering at Target and JoAnn Fabrics for things like cat food and yarn. And did you know Barnes & Noble has online wishlists!? Perfect! 'Cause after throwing yourself a "Spinster Shower" you now have an image to maintain.

Bump That is Buckie

A week ago was my sister's baby shower, where this picture was taken. Everybody, meet Buckie.

She was visiting this weekend, and it will probably be the last time I'll see her pregnant.

And I was just getting used to the bump.

Could This Day Get Any Better?!

The hits just keep on coming! Not only am I on vacation for the next 4 days (during which I get to see my parents and spend time with Pickle and the Bump that is Buckie (aka my Sister)), but my landlord just called to inform me that the house is no longer on the market. Which means....

THERE WILL BE NO MORE SHOWINGS OF THE HOUSE!

No more strangers walking through my stuff. Yippeee! My landlord also informed me that if, however, I still wanted to buy the house, I could make an offer. Or, if me and my roommate would like to get married and decided to buy the house together, he'd pay the down payment as a wedding present.

Yes.

He actually said that to me.

I don't know how long it's been since I've laughed that hard.

All Day Review

I've just had my third meeting of the day. All in regards to my annual review. And the only way three meetings over your review could be bearable, is if all of them were positive. I may dislike this job, but man, do I love this company!

The first meeting went something like this: "Your performance is Excellent. You do great work. But maybe you should work on getting to the office before 10:30am."

The second meeting was after my supervisor meet with the HR guy, who apparently loves me, and it went a little something like this: "The HR guy says since you show up on a fairly regular basis, and complete projects by deadline, you deserve Excellent on this point as well. Also, what can we do to make your stay more enjoyable?"

And the final meeting was to discuss the eventual end of my employment. I use "eventual" very loosely, as I was hired on a 12 month contract and have worked at this place for over 4 Years: "So you've worked here 4 years, and are planning on starting Grad school in a completely unrelated field, how about just one more year with us? I'll try to get you a nice, big raise."

Thank you, that would be lovely.

The "Joy" of an Open House

I signed a lease for a house in March, if you all recall. This particular house is for sale. Every time I drop off my rent, my landlord tries to convince me to buy the house. I'd be tempted, if the house didn't need SO MUCH WORK.

Now, the situation I find myself in is better than the situation I left. My bills are way lower, my roommate (while not the ideal) is not a psychopath and we get along, the neighborhood is great and I live close to friends.

The complete and total, soul-sucking downside of this house is that at least once a month, some group of strangers walks through my space. That means I've had strangers looking at my stuff and judging. Because that is why they are there, to look at this house that I live in and decide if they themselves could live there. Judging. It's like a miasma that hangs in every room. Ok, so maybe that's a little dramatic. But, really? Who in their right mind just invites random people in to look at their shit.

Plus, after every one of these showings, I'm so nervous that something might have happened to the cats.

And my landlord just doesn't understand how mentally disruptive this "minor inconvenience" is. He just wants to sell the house. But here's the catch--I wonder if any of the Realtors that have been through the house have told their clients, up front, that the house is occupied and will continue to be occupied until February 28, 2010.

I'm just scared the closer that date looms, the more showings there will be. Damn! I can't believe I'm being forced to think about moving again, after only 3 months!

A Beautiful Day

After a day like today, I just might be a little inspired....

uninspired

When I was in high school, I just couldn't wait to get out of that small town I grew up in. I used to have this joke that once I left, I'd either come back a famous scientist, or I'd come back and live in a trailer on my parents back forty.

One extreme or the other, no such thing as a happy medium existed for me. I was going to be a total sucess, or I was going to be a total failure. No grand plan or anything, just Succed or Fail.

And this past week it hit me; My life is Average. And I just couldn't bear it. To be Ordinary. Ugh. How did I let myself come to this.

I haven't had much to say lately, because I've had a problem communicating to myself.

Time and space does a lot of good for a lot of things. So, please don't take offense if I ask it of you.

"Pin a smile on my face." "Build a fortress 'round my heart."