Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Aunty Spinster's Home For The Wayward, Part 1

I'm working on a new project. It's a sweater. But that's not the part that's important. What is important is that I'm at something of a crossroads. I guess you could say this all started one very normal-seeming night on August 3oth.

My roommate was getting home from a three-day trip to Colorado, during which he lost his keys. As it was 2 am he didn't want to wake me to unlock the door for him, and instead decided to break into the house through the kitchen window. Yeah, guess what? Noise coming from the kitchen at 2 am, when I knew I was the only one home? Totally woke me up. Anywho, after I called out and he announced his presence, I feel right back to sleep. Then it was morning and I got up to feed the cats.

Only Booger didn't come running to the sound of food tinkling into the food dish. Which I thought was a bit odd. But as my roommate's new girlfriend had slept over, I thought Booger was just weirded out by the strange person in the house. It was only after the two of them left for the day, and Booger still hadn't shown up, that I realized something was Terribly Wrong.

I'll just fast-forward a bit here, as it basically involves me Losing My Shit. And by that I mean freaking out, walking the neighborhood in my pajamas knocking on neighbors doors without a bra on, and then standing in middle of my living room crying and leaving repeated messages on peoples' cell phones (people I KNEW were at work, but at the time it made no difference).

I did manage to go to work, but I begged and threatened to go home early. Seeing as I was totally irrational and barely functioning, they let me. So I pull into my driveway, and see that the bowl of food I had left outside had not been touched. At all. And the tiny little scrap of control that I actually managed to hold onto all day was just gone.

There I am, standing in my driveway at 10 o'clock at night (hmmm, sound familiar ?), crying, and I say out loud, "You're never coming back, are you?"

And then...

...I hear...

a "mrwow"

That's what Booger says, "mrwow." Not "meow." Not anything close, just "mrwow"

ZOMFG! He had actually come home! And he came slinking out to me, and was all, "Sweet Baby Je'asus, Woman! Where in the He'all have you been!?" Get me back in that house!" Yes...just like that, in a Southern Accent.

And all was right in my world again.....At least until my roommate came home and told me he was moving out 6 months shy of the expiration of our lease.

To be Continued...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I Want A Refund

So, you know how things happen and time passes and you think, "I'll get to it later, too much going on right now." Yeah, well that's been this blog.

And I've started many posts, thinking that I'd get back to finish them and let you (all three of you) know what's been going on. Only something else would come up. Or something even more ridiculous would happen, and I'd think, "THIS is what I need to write about. THIS is way more interesting than THAT thing." But what it all really boils down to is this:

Dear Life,

You are stupid and mean, and I would like a refund for the last two months.

That is all, thank you,
Toots

With that said, here it goes....I'm going to hit on some of the "High Points" of the last two months. Please be prepared, it's going to get a bit bumpy.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Blah To The Blah

Today, I broke a plate. It was a leaf-shaped vintage plate. Today has been an annoyance since I woke up. Maybe even before I fell asleep.

I don't mean to sound like Debbie Downer, it's just that nearly the entire month of September sucked. And October started great, but I seem to have hit a snag.

My roommate decided to move out to help out a good friend of his, and he chose to break his lease. But really, it's me that had to deal with finding a new roommate. And I found one about three weeks ago, and now I have a slight tinge of nerves that he might not move in. Which blows seven ways to Sunday, 'cause he was the only person to see the house that seemed normal. So, please think good things for me that this guy moves in, it would be best for all involved.