Thursday, October 30, 2008

My Plan To Fix The Economy

This cat helped to "pump $10 million into the local economy." Of course, that was in Japan. But still...

I nominate one Bogart "Booger" Stinkerburgher as the new mascot for America.

Just picture him in a "jaunty" hat. Come on, you KNOW that would boost tourism in America. Problem solved! He's proven himself to be punctual. He's sort of an Every-Cat we can all get behind.

By the way, my new favorite word is now "jaunty."

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Ain't Afraid Of No Monsters

This video just might have single-handedly turned my day around.

When you ask her about Monsters...

You know how I'm always going on and on about how I'm afraid of the dark and all those monsters. Well, I think I could learn a thing from this little girl.

Since it is nearly Halloween, I need to get my game plan together. You know, what I'ma gunna do bout alla them Monsters. My favorite part is at the end, where she says, "Oohhh." Listen for it, it's really good.

Just a little Post Script here--I've received many of those stupid, scare-the-pants-off-poor-gullible-unsuspecting-folks kind of videos, and I PROMISE you this is not one of those videos.

Ode To The Olive

I've been feeling a little blue the last couple of days, so I thought I might reminisce on a happy memory. Maybe that will lift my spirits.

When I was little, I was my dad's little shadow--if he sat down to watch the news, I was right there with him. If he was working on a project, I would hold the tools. If he had a snack of sardines and buttermilk, so did I. Sardines or olives. I ate anything that he ate.

Yeah, gross. I don't know when that particular behavior of mine stopped. Probably around the time I realized I had taste buds, and that my taste buds liked sugar more than salt. But a short time ago, I had some sort of antipasto salad with olives. And guess what I learned? I love olives.

So now when I visit, not only will I drink all his coffee, I'll be eating all his olives. Love you, Dad.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Aww, Look At The Pumpkin

This.......was me this weekend.

No more Manhattans. Ever.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Oh NO They Di-int

The Detroit News is now Dead To Me. They officially endorse McCain.

"The Republican presidential candidate has the character, pragmatism and independence necessary to lead a united America...."

And yet-- "We readily acknowledge that McCain has run a distressingly ineffective presidential campaign."

Oh, and this-- "Palin is a promising governor and has excited the Republican base, but she is clearly not prepared for the role she was chosen to play and is costing McCain support...."

But, yup, still endorsing McCain. Wow, just WOW. Even The Salt Lake Tribune, a newspaper in the heart of the most conservative state in the nation, is endorsing Obama.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Spiders, They Know Where I Work!

Yeah, this is a picture of the bathroom at my office. But, if you look very closely, right under the flash reflection in the corner, you'll see it. That little spot right in the corner. See it now? Here--let me help--

There it is--Yet another spider. I have a sneaky suspicion this one is on a recon mission. Sent to gather info on me. I'm more than a little creeped out that this little bugger was mere inches from my booty.

I shall be using the bathrooms on another floor from now on.

Checking My Ego At The Door

As I was walking to get lunch today, somebody asked me for directions. Some stranger, who was lost and wondering the streets of Detroit, saw me and thought, "hmm, this person looks like she knows what's what, perhaps I'll ask her for directions." The irony is, I stare at maps all day, so usually I do know where things are.

I just find it funny, because I never look like I know where I'm going. I hardly look like I know where I am. My face has this tendancy to form itself to match whatever is running through my brain. And I usually look confused. At least that's how it feels.

So, I am able to give the polite stranger directions and I now Feel Very Important and Smart.

Until I get caught in the revolving door to my building.

This is an image I took this spring at the Downtown Hoedown. Man, do I love this town!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Infestation, Yet Another Update

Last night I captured two monster big Yellow Sac spiders.

Add to that the couple I found on Sunday, and those captured on Friday and Wednesday of last week....Let's just say, I'm not keeping a spider count anymore because I'd never be able to sleep for fear they were crawling all over my body. Uggghhh.

On the bright side, thanks to The Brit, we have a mechanical contraption to humainly catch the spiders (that is, before flushing them down the toilet!). Viola! It is called the Spider Relocator

Dear, dear, Readers--I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you all for your support during this difficult time. The spiders surely cannot win now that I have the Spider Relocator in my arsonal! I know those who read this blog always, at all times, have my best interests at heart.

Monday, October 20, 2008

What Doesn't Kill You....

Just might make you want to die.

Word of warning, when you buy new coffee creamer to replace bad coffee creamer, Throw Away The Old Coffee Creamer.

Or you will get sick. Like I got sick. Cause I'm an idiot. And I can't read an expiration date.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Air Quotes Of Doom

A majority of blogs that I read have made reference to the last presidential debate. I didn't really want to weigh in on that issue here, as this is a happy place where I laugh at my own misadventures.

When I watched the debate on Thursday, I had an almost physical reaction when John McCain used air quotes when speaking about the "health" of a pregnant woman (I'm sure you've all seen it by now, but just in case, here's the link). I thought, at first, that my reaction was a bit over the top. But after reading the blogs of some very articulate women, I realized that many, many women had the same reaction that I did.

I don't mean to open the can of worms that is the abortion debate. My reaction was on a simple, primal level--and it was this, John McCain must have a very low opinion of women. To simply dismiss an entire gender, and their right to chose to live, burns me up in so many ways......GRRRR.

So, here, I'm saying what many other women are saying--If you have a uterus, think very seriously about the kind of man you want to be our next President.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Yet Another Thing On My Plate

It might be a little early to share this, but I'm all about the build-up. And as it is in my nature to obsess, I'm sharing. And will continue to update.

I was just asked to contribute for a non-profit website. Sorry, I'm not able to disclose many details yet, but the gist is that I will be writing some articles and editing others.

I was on the fence about mentioning my blog as an example of my writing. But after I read some of my old posts, I'm glad I kept my freakin mouth shut. How could anyone take me seriously if they knew I was afraid Yetis were looking in my windows! (Look! I just learned a new trick! I can do hyperlink!!!!)

Yet another upside is that--between working two jobs, Pickle (Hah! I did it again!), crafting (Last time, I promise), and working on this new project--I'll be so busy I'll forget all about the stupid boy and his situation.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

And Everything Was Right In The Universe

It's ALIVE!!!!!

Who knew Apple Support might actaully offer a fix that would work?

Two Elderly Gentlemen Discussing Escalator Maintenance

Today got off to a rough start.

I think I totally fried my iPod. ARRGGGHHHHH! Then, pulling the trash can off the curb, I got dirty and had to change. When I got to the office, I realized that I look like I was dressed by a family of clowns--pink and brown plaid pants, kelly green undershirt, and turquoise snowflake turtleneck sweater. If Tim Gunn saw me he would weep at the atrocity.

But as I was walking through Cobo Hall, I overheard two gentlemen discussing the state of the escalator. "The skirt is nice and tight." "Yeah, but this truss is showing a little wear."

It made me smile.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oh Nips! Yes, I'm Going There.

Yesterday Sweets said to me, "I can't get rid of this headache." My response, "Yeah, my nips hurt earlier, and I don't know why."

Whoa, you say. Why would you say that to a guy? Well, it's OK. We get our periods at the same time, so he totally knows about sore boobs ;)

And without missing a beat he said to me, "Well, I noticed when you get involved in your book group, you start tweaking 'em."

And it just illustrates my gullibility that for 2.5 seconds I seriously had to think--Wait! Did I actually tweak my nips during my book discussion?!!!!?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Wonderful Thing About Boogers....

This little Booger saved my behind yesterday. I set my alarm wrong, and instead of going off at 5:30am, it was set to go off at 5:30pm. But, somehow, he decided to belly flop on my face at about 5:45am.

Not that I'd advise anyone to run out and get a Booger alarm. His prefered method of getting attention is to slam his 17lb fuzzy body onto my face. But it woke me up, and the day was saved. By Booger.

"Get in mah Belleh!"

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Cheesecake Factory . . . Of Death!

Today, I'm bending the Rules Of Posting that I had set up for myself. I'm writing about food. Not only that, I'm writing about food I ate.

Earlier I had one of the tastiest meals I've eaten in a long time. Super delicious, creamy, and rich. And the cheesecake.... Oh, the Cheescake!

I haven't had a meal that rich in a very long time, and my body reminded me of that soon after I finished eating. Were talking way worse than just a carb coma. I think my GI tract stopped function for a short period of time.

So, the lesson for the day--Everythng in Moderation.

Except maybe the white chocolate macadamia nut cheesecake. Teehee.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

This Keeps Me Occupied

I've found a new distraction. I've been knitting these like crazy. I believe I've made about 5 of them. I'm working on a plan to capitalize on my craftiness...I'll keep you posted.

Until then, here's Pickle, my official model. He's lucky to have his cheeks. I watched him last week, and I almost ate them off.

If You Give a Moose a Muffin....Don't Be Surprised When It Dies Of Sugar Shock

Click on the post title to read the story from The Mining Journal.

Basically, a moose and her calves wondered into downtown Ishpeming and some idiots were following her taking pictures. This mad mob all wanted to see a REAL LIVE MOOSE, and got in the way of the police and DNR. Police had to euthanize the mother moose after it had been herded near a schoolyard by the mad mob.

Here's the thing, I lived in the UP for 4 years, and during that time I saw a REAL LIVE BLACK BEAR, a REAL LIVE WOLF, a REAL LIVE COYOTE. And not once did I feel the need to chase these creatures to get their pictures. And none of those animals is a big as an Effin MOOSE!

Why, WHY would you want to get close to such a massive animal, a massive animal that is in Protect My Babies! mode?

The kicker is some idiots have the nerve to blame police for being forced to kill the animal.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

More Penguins!

I just read about this on CNN, people helping penguins makes me smile.

Click on the post title to see the article. I'm learnin' about all the new fangled technical-thingys you can do with Blogger!

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Everytime Palin said "Maverick," this is what I pictured. Mel Gibson. And Jodi Foster.

Enough. Your family, Gov. Palin, does NOT represent my family.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Okay, so remember Cuter Than Kanye? Well, today is the Second Day In A Row that I've run into him outside the ladies restroom.

Then I realized that when I'm at the office, I pee nearly the same time everyday. How messed up is that?