Dearest Former Land"Lady,"
I understand that the house I have lived in for the past year was the first home you ever owned, and that you loved it dearly. The fact of the matter is that you, out of whatever circumstances (you civil-unioned your longtime partner on a cruise off the coast of Canada, and the both of you decided to call her house "home"), decided to rent it out.
My roommate and I took care of your house. We had no wild and crazy parties in your house. We put up with a very scary spider infestation, and dealt with the lingering smell of your three large dogs. Not to mention the neighbor's delinquent son I once caught punching his own house.
So when you tell me that my two small cats caused $600 worth of damage, please forgive my disbelief. I understand that you are not a "cat person" (which if you REALLY think about it, is not a tiny bit ironic). And rather than call and have me remedy this situation a week ago (as technically today is the last day of the lease, so a week ago the house was still my residence), you decided to bring in a company (I'll assume it was the company your friend owns) to "fix" this "problem."
Also, it was very gracious of you NOT to charge us for the damage caused by the Ice and the Snow. I apologize for not informing you of the damage as it was being inflicted. To be unaware of the weight of the Ice and Snow warping the paving stones is Unforgivable.
I could go on, but really, I'm just not a nit-picky kind of person, as you can totally relate. I hope your next tenants truly reflect the Renter demographic of my former City of Residence.
3 days ago