Monday, November 24, 2008

Let The Season.....Begin!

When I typed that heading, I heard it in my head like "Get Ready To Rumble!" Didn't you? No, just me then.....

Anywho, tomorrow I'm off to the North for Thanksgiving. I haven't been to my parents in months, which is unusual, and I just can't wait. It's my Urban Detox, and boy do I need it now. I'll have to come back to reality on Friday, as I am scheduled to work at the retail job. Should be an interesting day.

I've been listening to the all Christmas music station, so in a weird way I feel like I'm going home for Christmas. Oh great, I have a sneaking suspicion that I know what my nightmare is going to be tonight--going home for Christmas and forgetting to buy presents.

Yeah, did I mention I've been having nightmares? The kind that only I find scary. When I tell somebody about them, I just get this blank, "you call that a nightmare?" kind of look.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Do You Hulu?

If you have not checked this site out, you absolutely must! It's become the replacement to the DVR I gave up when I moved. They have all seasons of The Pretender, and you can watch them. For Free! Except CBS shows. CBS can Suck It!

It's a little like YouTube, but as far as I've seen, you can't upload your stupid home movies to it.

And speaking of home movies, I'll be visiting my Sister for Thanksgiving and begging her to let me post the video of her wedding during which her new hubby drove a snowmobile. Into a pond. In his tux. In August.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The (Other) Cat Has Something To Say

So, I've hit a little roadblock in regards of what to post. I could go with the ol' standby of pictures of Pickle, but I'm sure you are all tired of that shitck. So, I was sitting at my desk, staring at the screen, when Lula offered to write something for me today. And without further adeu, making her debut, I give you LullaBelle (aka Louie)---

She Who Feeds has been spotty in her quest to complete NaBloPoMo. Since I do not want her to become a failure, I must step in. I do adore her, as She is the one Who Feeds, and she understands that a lap is my rightfull napping place. But sometimes she is a little lacking. As in the area of giving Treats. Also, she does not allow me to lick her. This sometimes hurts my feelings.

No introductions should be necessary, but since she has only ever written about that knucklehead...Booger...I, LullaBelle Catterina, am very pleased to meet you, Internets. You may address me as "Tsarina". Or Princess Kitty. That will do nicely.

Despite what she says, she doesn't like you. I like you. Bring me treats. And CatNip. She Who Feeds is also She Who Rations The Happy Cat Weed.

To the One Who Lives In The Room I Can't Go In: You have, on occasion, brushed me. And that is nice, but I know that you know where the CatNip is. I am holding you just as responsible for the rationing. But I will sit on you, as you are warm and you sing to me. And this is what I deserve.

As for The Booger, I am the Special One, he is the "Special" one. But he is my best friend, so only I am allowed to say mean things to him. Because he is bigger than me and he chases me, and words are my only defense. Words and sneak attacks.

And to the One Who Occasionally Visits. I sit on your lap and I allow you to pet me. You let me lick you even when She Who Feeds says "no," and that is nice. But you smell funny and should bring treats.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Jigga What....

...Big Pimpin' all Christmas style. It begins tomorrow.

I've set my mind to start the holiday decorations. The Brit is setting up the outside lights very soon, and for once we might have the cutest house on the block. Snow is wonderful in that you don't have to mow or rake it.

I want a Pink and Gold tree, but I think The Brit wants to go with something a little more traditional.
Speaking of traditions, I'm hoping she will bring a Little Bit of England to our house this year.

Did I mention she has Style? Hip, British Style.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I may be the Queen of Obsessive Thinking, but at least I'm not the First Lady of CrazyTown!

Dear First Lady of Crazy,

I'm not sure if you are aware, but delusions are not healthy. Harboring them doesn't imporove their chances of becoming real.

I have had enough of watching my back, checking what I say for fear of escalating a "situation." I didn't want to provoke the Crazy.

Well, I am done. Do whatcha gonna do. Cause, Bee-otch, I'm just too tired.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Letter To The Management

To Whom It May Concern (not me, cause I don't give a shit anymore);

I appreciate the fact that, in retail, I must sit through a Holiday Meeting. The fact that I get Paid to listen to you talk is a bonus. What I do not appreciate is the fact that what you are talking about is shit everybody in the room should know. This ain't their first disco, they should know this stuff.

The fact that they don't know this stuff makes my head want to spin and spew green vomit.

Seriously. Gross, but so true. I've spent the last two hours trying to dig one shred of viable new information out of the tripe I was subjected to and all I've come up with is this: A coworker, when asked for a way to improve our "customer service," replied----Oh my god, this is just so beautiful it deserves it's own paragraph---

"Frosted Flakes!"

And just for a little contrast, the "holiday meeting" at the office goes a little something like this, "Want the whole week off? Take it! We don't have much going on anyway."

Ho Fucking Ho Ho

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Too Much Cute....Must Share

Pickle has discovered his hands. And he giggles. Talk about a cute overload.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I Have The Best Friends

"Friends are the family you pick for yourself." I heard that a while ago, and it's stuck with me.

The people in my life right now are some of the best people I have ever known. Thank you all for listening to me obsess about my life, and never passing judgement. For all of your advice, even though you know I might not take it.

Marilyn Monroe once said, "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Thank you all for being there for the worst, and sticking around for the best.

Seems that Rampcommander is feeling the same. Maybe Thankfulness is in the air.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Timing, It Is Everything

I had a book group meeting last night (we read "The Soloist," and it was a very good discussion), and one of the members announced to the group she would be retiring in two weeks from one of The Big Three. Her retirement is secure, and she was offered a great package. She was ecstatic, as we all were for her.

Later on, another member announced that he would be declaring bankruptcy. He is starting a new career as an author, and has just recently learned his first book will be published. He has wanted to be an author for a very long time, but circumstances didn't allow him the time to research and write, which makes his first book a little bittersweet. The group and I wish him all the luck in the world. If anyone deserves a break, it's this guy.

I don't know how it all relates, I just know that somehow it does. And I've had the phrase "civic duty" stuck in my brain since a few days before the election.

Fly Like Paper, Get High Like Planes

It was my 3-0 this past weekend. I went to a friend's boyfriend's party two days before my Big Day. I've only just begun to process the many events from that night.

A few conclusions I've drawn from this 24 hour time period:
>First and foremost--I Am Too Old For This S***.
>Ice luge shots equals herpes for everyone! Yay!
>Even though you may know everyone at the party, doesn't mean you should trust everyone at the party.
>The most sober person is the one who will injure themselves. Never fails.
>If you are craving tacos, you should get tacos. Potato chips are no substitute. Neither is more liquor.
>Nobody deserves to be called a Bitch on their birthday.

And probably the most important--If You Don't Feel Like Going To The Party, DON'T GO TO THE PARTY! Or the after party, for that matter....

One last thing, you might not even have noticed, but I no longer have adds on my blog. Cause AdSense sucks lemons, and feels my content is too harmful to advertisers.

So, I guess I really AM controversial! If Google didn't host my blog (for f-r-e-e), they would be Dead To Me. But alas, I'll have to settle for--They Can Suck It!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Conspiracy of Evil

Dear Mr. Blues,

Please, I beg you, leave me be. I thought that maybe you'd be staying for a day or so, as is sometimes the case. But now it seems that you have dropped in for a nice long visit, and I'm asking you to kindly, please, GTFO!

I have not been able to finish any craft project I've started in the last two weeks, which means I've got a lot of unfinished knitting laying around. You can almost build a fort with all the yarn.

It may be that you are in cahoots with Mr. TimeChange (believe me, mister, I'm on to you and your evil), conspiring to make me stay in bed longer. Or that you've worked out some deal with Old Man Winter. I was excited for the snow, but now that it's all gone and only the bitter cold remains, my spirits have dipped yet again.

So here's your first warning. Consider yourself On Notice. I'll be visiting Pickle to get my weekly dose of baby cuteness. I'll be stringing Fairy Lights throughout the house to combat the early onset darkness. And I'll be wishing for snow every chance I get.

If all of that doesn't work, and you refuse to warned, things could get ugly. I'm talking SpongeBob SquarePants marathons here.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Wii Would Like to Play

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday by racing cows...on the Wii. Rampcommander was passing through town, and a few of my friends organized a dinner and Wii night. We played Wii, and it was awesome.

Almost as awesome as when I visited my parents and my dad showed his buddy how to play Wii Sports. My Bro and his friend were in town as well, and they had all been working outside most of the day. When my uncle played his usual before-bed-after-snack (or should I say, "knack") game of Wii Bowling, my dad's friend was pretty fascinated by the game. So my dad showed him how to play and my Bro and his friend joined.

They taught him how to play after they had had a few beers.

And some whisky.

Awesome, truly awesome. Why so awesome, do you ask? Because I've never seen my dad (or his buddy, for that matter) so animated that late at night.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I Love You More Than a Beef and Bean Burrito

Last week was my brother's birthday. The family didn't celebrate other than the usual phone calls. I'm hoping when we're all home for Christmas, we'll do some sort of group party, as four of the five of us have birthdays within two months of each other (apologies if that was confusing).

I felt a little guilty that I didn't make a big deal of his birthday this year. Not that I usually make a production out of it, but still, feeling a little guilty.

Then I realized, this is probably the best birthday he's ever had. Because this year, he celebrates his birthday as some body's father. I saw him with his son the other day. It was just amazing, the amount of love for that baby. And that little guy just looked up at his daddy and smiled. How can any material present ever compare.

Happy Birthday, Bro.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Loss of an Icon

Michael Crichton died recently.

A few things I didn't know: He didn't believe in global warming. He was married five times. I like the Wiki site better than his personal web page, more dirt, less bias.

Here are a few things I did know: He has one of the most difficult names an author can have, next to impossible to spell. His books are always easy to recommend. And always made the bestseller lists.

Ok, I gotta call it--this post is going no where. I'm totally distracted, trying to do too many things at once right now. I've got about three windows open on my interwebbing, chatting, shopping, watching tv.

It's all too much!

Could that be the theme of my life right now? Oh god, am I actually reverting to the sad esoteric teenage blather? Really? Am I really going there?

All I can say is, I warned you that November posts might get sketchy due to NaBloPoMo. I just didn't think it would come to this so soon.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's How You Spell Relief

I woke up this morning to a sense of relief. The election is over, so I won't upset your sensitive little eyes with my liberal drivel any longer. Except maybe just this little bit. It's an excerpt from President Elect Obama's (it just feels so good to say that!) speech last night.

"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too."

It just gives me chills. But in a really good way. And now back to the normal tone of this blog, and my life--

Relief, also because I found this snack bar at my local Trader Joe's. I think this might just revolutionize my mornings.

I think my good mood may be contagious. This morning, both cats were snuggled up together on my bed. I've never seen them that cozy before. Even Booger and Lulla are working for a more united home.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Most Anticipated Day Of The Last Four Years

Why, oh why did the election have to be on Tuesday? Or rather, the question is, why didn't I think ahead and ask for the day off in order to vote & then go home to be glued to the TV for the results?

I remember the last election. I went to bed early, knowing it was close, but still sure that Kerry had won. What a jolt I got that morning when I turned on the news.

Barack The Vote!

Monday, November 3, 2008

TV, It's What's For Dinner

I could write about the voting tomorrow, but I think you know which way I'm gonna vote. So, how about this....

They need to bring shows like Beauty and the Beast back to prime time tv.

I've been caught in a marathon of this series on DVD, and I just can't get enough. I do admit that the last season may have jumped the shark, but up till then it was great.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Guess I wasn't the only one....

Halloween, Part Deux

For Halloween this year, I did my best to avoid The Monsters. I barricaded myself with Dr. Juan to watch some scary movies. We got caught up in a 'Scariest Movie Moments' countdown. And I gotta say, watching the scariest moments from movies is like watching the worst part of the movie. At least, it is for me.

Anywho, I will get to dress up this year, as I was invited to a late Halloween party. My costume--a pepper shaker. And I'll be--wait for it, it's good--"searching for my lost shaker of salt."

Oh, I crack myself up sometimes!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

It's The Stupid, Economy

Paul Krugman, he that I adore, wrote a column about Americans spending less. One of the highlights of that article--

"...real spending on durable goods (stuff like cars and TVs) fell at an annual rate of 14 percent. To appreciate the significance of these numbers, you need to know that American consumers almost never cut spending... Also, these numbers are from the third quarter — the months of July, August, and September. So these data are basically telling us what happened before confidence collapsed after the fall of Lehman Brothers in mid-September, not to mention before the Dow plunged below 10,000. Nor do the data show the full effects of the sharp cutback in the availability of consumer credit, which is still under way."

¡Oh, Dios mío

I've often said that working retail can suck your soul, but I recently had an experience that makes me believe that the worst is yet to come. And this ominous feeling I have is, in a round-about way, being confirmed by what Mr. Krugman writes.

Let me 'splain--As we enter this holiday season, people are going to be more limited than ever with their funds. They, as I, will be trying to get the most bang for their buck. But here's the part that has a little more to do with geography. The store I work at has a somewhat difficult and demanding clientele. So, my fear is that their usual sense of entitlement will be magnified by the rough economy, and they will demand even more out of us poor retail slaves.

I'm thinking it's not out of the realm of possibility that some old crone will order me to get her a book, a latte, and rub her wrinkly claw feet while I'm at it.

I Challenge One And All...

to NaBloPoMo! (That's National Blog Posting Month, get your mind out of the gutter. You know you were thinking it.)

So, some of the posts might get a little sketchy. Like hazy childhood memories. Or what I happen to be listening to that day. You know, so TOTALLY different than stuff I normally post.

I'm off to get some inspiration, so I'll have something more exciting to post later. I feel like the Nov. 1 post has to start with a bang.