Wookin' Pa Nub...

In all da wong paces.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/81/81bbuckwheat.phtml

Oh, sweet internet dating...how do I love thee. Let me count the ways:

IM (I seriously got an IM that said, "u r pretty" Que the banjo...)

Instant gratification (But that guy totally thinks I'm Pretty!)

That's all I've got so far....maybe more later.

Maybe not

Melancholy, Baby

The 'friend thing' is a very complicated thing. But I think it was what I needed to get over the Sweetness. Crushes are hard. And even harder when there is chemistry involved. Oh, the chemistry!

So, Sweets, I'm letting you go. And it may be one of the smartest things I've done in a while. Scary, but still smart. Because not only do I need more, I deserve more.

Letter To A Douche

Dear Douchebag,

Don't ever call me "Nikita, as in La Femme Nikita" ever, ever again. It is not my name. It is not funny. I do not think it is cool. And no, I've never seen the movie, and really don't care that it's about female empowerment. Which, by the way, you Douche, it is not.

Yes, I do know how to take a compliment. If you say, "Nice pants," I will reply with "Thanks." If you tell me five fucking times in a single sentence that you like my pants, I will have to tell you to shut it.

Seriously, do not talk to me. Please, just don't. The next time you say something douche-worthy, I will post the address to the site where I found this photo. And encourage others to mock.

Sincerely,
Not Nikita, as in La Femme Nikita

Ignorance Is Not Bliss

I'm sitting here, at my desk at the office, and I'm hearing a street musician playing the sax. The music floats in and out. Sometimes only just audible over the hum of the CPU. I can't make out what they are playing, but that's not important.

There is all kinds of Life going on just outside my experience, and I'm a little overwhelmed. I have this feeling that something Big is about to happen--in the city, for the Brit, between my friends, for my family.

It is a feeling of giddy happiness, with a hint of foreboding thrown in for taste. Maybe it's all the caffeine I've had, or maybe it's heartburn. But I'm inexplicably hopeful that everything is going to work out for the best.

Maybe I'm just that naive.

The Infestation, Another Update

Fall is nearly upon us. The weather is wonderful--chilly at night and perfect with a hint of rain during the day. Spider weather, Dhun, Dhun, Dhun!

I came home from work the other night to find my animal kingdom nemesis, the dreaded Yellow Sac, hanging out on the ceiling in the living room.

And I spent the next 10 minutes flinging shoes at the ceiling in an attempt to smush the bastard. Now, in my agitated state, it really did take 10 minutes for me to realize that my aim is shit, and it might be difficult to explain shoe prints on the ceiling to my OCD landlady. At which point I devised a plan which involved a broom. Simple, yet effective!

I am suspicious he might have been the first wave. I am hoping for an early and spider-crippling frost to avert the impending crisis.

End of Hiz Reign

I was reading the news today, and it occurred to me that "Manoogian" kinda reminds me of "Magoo." As in, Mr. Magoo. And I realized that's a pretty fair comparison of the farce this whole situation has become.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Magoo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manoogian_Mansion

Mayor Kilpatrick, good riddance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kwame_Kilpatrick

Lone Wolf? Um, Not So Much...

For almost One Whole Month, I lived alone. It was not as much fun as I thought it would be. I thought it would be loads of giggles to walk around naked, watch whatever I wanted on TV, stay up late and sleep in without anything to wake me.

The reality is, I was too paranoid people would try to look in thru closed blinds to walk around naked. I didn't have cable to watch whatever I wanted, and was pretty bored with the movies I owned. And the absolute quiet started to wear on my nerves.

But all is now right in the Universe, because a few days ago my new roommate moved in! Now, I have a roommate with STYLE--crazy, hip, British style. And a whole new collection of DVDs. She has so much style, I feel like I need to update my wardrobe just to be able to live in my own home. Yay, shopping!

She's ok with my cats. Actually, it's a near perfect situation--she brushes them, makes sure they have food, and generally keeps them company during the day. And then shuts them out of her room so they have no choice but to snuggle up with me at night. I'm not sure how long this is going to last, because the new roommate has her sights set on getting a dog. I'm all for this, and actually looking forward to having a dog again. But I'm not sure how the cats will handle having competition for the Brit's affections.
Here are a few Reasons I Should Not Live Alone:
A roommate would not allow me to eat corndogs and chocolate martinis for dinner.
I have a hard time justifying leaving the house.
Left on my own, I have a hard time showering on a regular basis.
Strange house noises with a roommate = strange house noises; Strange house noises alone = monsters in the basement trying to get me.