The Dangers of Google Stalking

Oh. My. God. I don't know why I do these things to myself--I just googled my Big Ex, and learned he now has a myspace music page. I had the page open before I realized what I was doing, and I had a mini-mini-meltdown (consisting of inability to breath, but no tears or hysterical crying). And smack!, just like that it's 5 years ago and I'm feeling totally abandoned and useless and not wanted. I scrutinized every word on the page, stared intently at every single picture (cruelly, he still looks exactly the same), and looked at his friends to see if I recognized any of them.

And just when I thought I wouldn't be able to drag myself away from the computer--like it'd be 7pm & I'm still in my cube, eyes locked on the screen--I get a text. From Sweetness. And I'm back in the here and now. And I pull myself away from the pictures on the screen and look at the picture on my cube wall, of the one who makes me feel wanted and loved and more complete than I've ever felt. And I hit that amazing little "X" and I could breathe again.


Edit: Yeah, so about 4 days after I made this post, we broke up. At least from my perspective, it's over. He shall now be reffered to as Stupid Boy, at least until some of the anger and frustration wears off.

Edit to the Edit: Anger has begun to receed, frustration still remains. He shall now be referred to as Sweets.