Oh No, 3-Oh!

I was sitting sideways on my couch, with my legs stretched out in front of me and crossed at the ankle. I had just done a self pedi and was looking at my cute toes (I swear, I’m not into feet, I just have some cute little piggies!), when I noticed something a little off.

Namely, my calves. They have cellulite. I didn’t even realize this was possible. And no, I will not be posting a picture.

Now, I'm a shapely lass, but I do have my attributes (ahem, meet The Girls). I gained the obligatory college weight, which I've managed to lose. Yay, Me! I don’t make noise when I wear cords anymore (I have this really sweet pair of pink ones, totally cool!).

Then I looked at my cords, and the reason they don’t make noise anymore is because the friction of my thighs has rubbed off the ridges. So. Not. Cool.

So OK, I'll just take the advice of a friend. Her motto is "Better Living Through Chemistry!" But then I find this article:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121909632709750943.html?mod=rss_Health

This was when I realize--F***! I’ve got to turn off the Alias and get my fatty calves off the couch! Because if the Wall Street Journal says cellulite creams don't work, then they probably don't work. And because I'm going to be 30 in a couple a months, and I AM NOT going to have cellulite calves in my 30's! (Just a note--This is as close to crisis as I will get about turning 30. I think 30 is going to totally rock!)

The funny thing is, the only thing that could distract me from this personal horror was watching a totally gory movie where people get eaten by cave-creatures! I think I would prefer being attacked by cave-creatures to working out.