The (Other) Cat Has Something To Say

So, I've hit a little roadblock in regards of what to post. I could go with the ol' standby of pictures of Pickle, but I'm sure you are all tired of that shitck. So, I was sitting at my desk, staring at the screen, when Lula offered to write something for me today. And without further adeu, making her debut, I give you LullaBelle (aka Louie)---

She Who Feeds has been spotty in her quest to complete NaBloPoMo. Since I do not want her to become a failure, I must step in. I do adore her, as She is the one Who Feeds, and she understands that a lap is my rightfull napping place. But sometimes she is a little lacking. As in the area of giving Treats. Also, she does not allow me to lick her. This sometimes hurts my feelings.

No introductions should be necessary, but since she has only ever written about that knucklehead...Booger...I, LullaBelle Catterina, am very pleased to meet you, Internets. You may address me as "Tsarina". Or Princess Kitty. That will do nicely.

Despite what she says, she doesn't like you. I like you. Bring me treats. And CatNip. She Who Feeds is also She Who Rations The Happy Cat Weed.

To the One Who Lives In The Room I Can't Go In: You have, on occasion, brushed me. And that is nice, but I know that you know where the CatNip is. I am holding you just as responsible for the rationing. But I will sit on you, as you are warm and you sing to me. And this is what I deserve.

As for The Booger, I am the Special One, he is the "Special" one. But he is my best friend, so only I am allowed to say mean things to him. Because he is bigger than me and he chases me, and words are my only defense. Words and sneak attacks.

And to the One Who Occasionally Visits. I sit on your lap and I allow you to pet me. You let me lick you even when She Who Feeds says "no," and that is nice. But you smell funny and should bring treats.